Controlling the Controllable:
Navigating Conflict with our Customers

Hello. Welcome, everyone. We will be getting started shortly. Thank you for joining us Yes. Hello. Welcome. Thanks for being here. We're gonna get started in just under a minute here. Give some people some time to come on in and log in. Wonderful. Well, hello, everyone, and welcome to today's webinar. Controlling the controllable navigating conflict with our customers. My name is Ashley Aldacco, and I am the enterprise sales manager at Grace Hill. I want to personally thank you for joining us. Welcome all Grace Hill, Ellis, and Edge2Learn clients. Today, we will explore ways to navigate and react when dealing with difficult customers, be it your residents, your prospects, or your employees. Our agenda is as follows. We will begin with an exploration of unconscious bias and identifying the role it may play in the way we engage with others. We will then have a discussion about emotional intelligence to identify the effect that has on our personal communication style. Then we will explore tips on how to self-manage our reactions and avoid the pitfalls that come with triggers. And before we get started, just a few housekeeping items, today's webinar is being recorded and it will be shared with all registered attendees later this week. As an attendee, you will be in listen only mode. This will help with any outside noise and disrupt so that everyone can hear today's presentation without interruption. If you have any questions, please use the chat box located on your screen. Should you have technical issues or need assistance, please message virtual classroom, and my colleague, Stephanie Anderson will be happy to help you. I would like to start by introducing today's speaker. Walter Sonder is a leasing pro and the senior PM National trainer for the NRP group. Starting his career with the NRP group in twenty ten, Walter has on-site experience at working both Lisa and stabilized communities. Affordable, LIHTC, market rate and senior housing. Joining the learning and development team in 2014, Walter has made a name for himself. By infusing his training with his signature mixture of high energy and humor. Walter graduated from St. Edwards University Sumu Kumar with the BA in communication. Please welcome Walter. Perfect. Thank you so much, Ashley. Thank you, Grace Hill, and to learn all of our users out there for having me for inviting me to join you all today. I'm super excited to be covering a topic that I feel can be used professionally. Right? That's what we're all here for, but also personally. So we went over the agenda. But next, I wanna take a look at some objectives. And I feel personally, you know, in the training world and the learning and development departments that objectives are a little self servicing. To me, an objective says this is what I set out to tell you. I'm giving myself a list of expectations that I am trying to follow, and that's not what I wanna utilize our time here today as. What I wanna hear is from you. Alright? I want you to go ahead, utilize the checkbox, so that Ashley said, and tell me what is your objective Why did you decide to take a half hour, an hour out of your busy day, to join this webinar here? What is it that you would like to get from our time here today. So give everyone a moment to go ahead and drop those objectives into the chat box. Alright. Perfect. Yes. Thank you so much utilizing that chat box. There should be a chat function on your fly out menu there. Okay. Great. So we've got I wanna learn how to better lead my team through difficult times. I dig it. I dig it. Not to lose my temper. Alright. You know, I've I've been there, I think, everybody, beer, and hair has been there before. A lot of the same dealing with okay. Great. Perfect. Perfect. So it sounds like we've got an idea of what we ourselves wanna get from today. And I always frame my conversations and my trainings with that same idea of it doesn't matter what I say here. Right? We can give you the best information, the best tips, the tricks, the statistics, but that is all I can do. Right? We're not there at your seat, you know, in your seats at your offices doing your day to day activities. So as we go through this discussion, I want you to think about this. How would these tips, these tricks, how is the exploration of this topic working for you. K. There's no cookie cutter approach to this. My team hears that all the time. The human element is a wild card. So we wanna make sure that we're really framing our vision and our thoughts through this conversation in just this. How can I apply this at my site? How can I use this personally in my day? Okay. So those are gonna be our objectives collectively as a team as we go throughout this presentation. So the next thing, again, thank you, Ashley, for that lovely, lovely little introduction. When I started putting together this presentation, I had to start doing research. And nowadays, we all know what research really means is Google. Right? So I took to Google, and I just searched quickly how to deal with difficult people. There are over a billion Google hits on this very topic. K. It tells us a couple of different things. One, there is a thirst, there is a need, there is a desire for information regarding this topic. K? The second thing that it shows is there's a lot of information out there. Right? How do I make your time worth it. Right? I don't feel it would be a good work, worthy use of your time for me to sit here and say, number one, when a resident gets upset and gets angry, don't yell back at them. No joke. Right. We all already know that. So I wanted to reframe the conversation and how we are going to approach this topic and do it in a way that is beneficial to you. That is a good use of your time, not just a top ten list that we pulled from Google. Also side note here, just to kind of put a comparison up there, I also Google Share and Share has just under half a billion results out there online. So there is twice as much information available to you out there than there is for share. And what she's immortal. She's been around as long as difficult people, as long as conflict. So, again, it really shows the need for this and the reason for taking a new or taking a different approach with this topic. So as I mentioned, that lovely introduction, again, thank you so much for that. But what I wanna do now is I wanna ask you to introduce me. K. So go back into the chat box. And what I'd like for you to do is answer me this question. And I've got a couple of them. So keep those chat, chat boxes handy and nearby. The first thing I want you to do is tell me what my middle name is. Alright. Good. Good. Robert Smith. Alright. See here. Oh, hyphenated name. Thank you. Thank you. Alright. Good. Some good guesses out there. Alright. Here is my second question to you. I want you to tell me what my favorite food is. What is Walter's favorite food? Alright. Perfect. Got some good answers going in there. Some pretty good guesses. See if any of you were correct a little later. Alright. Perfect. Now what I want you to do is tell me What kind of car do I drive? What kind of car does Walter drive? Alright. So middle name, favorite food, what kind of vehicle do I drive? Alright. Perfect. Thank you so much for telling me about me for introducing me to you. But what does this have to do with this conversation? Right? Why did we even go down this rabbit hole of of question and answer? Well, what it has to do is your decision making process. What it is rooted in is where your answers came from. Why did some of you decide that sushi was my favorite food? Why did some of you think that I'm a huge fan of pizza? K? Why did you all decide what kind of car that I drive in the way you did? What it all ties into and has to do with is unconscious bias. Okay. So that was an entire exercise exploring unconscious bias. So first thing we wanna do is we want to get the definition out there, and then we'll start to really dig into it. An unconscious bias is a learned attitude. It's a stereotype. And they exist in our subconscious, and they involuntarily affect the way we think they affect the way we act. K? So, just quick show of hands here. Has anybody ever had a a prospect pull up to their community? And you immediately think to yourself There is no way they're gonna qualify to live here. What are you rooting that in? What are you basing that assumption on? The way they look, the way they're dressed, the car that they drive. Again, all of that is rooted in unconscious bias. Now the follow-up question to that is how many of have ever thought that and been wrong? Me? Right? I am guilty of it. Automatically assume something about somebody as they pull up, as they start to make their way into our office. And I'm wrong. They do qualify to live there. And they become a long term resident. They keep renewing. They keep staying with us. They pay on time. They are that, you know, that model resident. And I had totally written them off at the beginning. All of that is rooted in and based in our unconscious bias. K? So now there could be an entire training and entire presentation on unconscious bias in and of itself. But there's gonna be four basic ideas that I'm gonna explore, and we're gonna start to look at here today. K? First is your affinity bias. A feeling of connection to those similar to us. Right? They look the same to us. They have the same, past your experience. They are in the same industry as us. They have the same likes as us. So we start to assume certain things about them based on you remind me of me. Right? There's an immediate connection, and that starts to shape, mold, inform what we think about this person. The way we engage, the way we interact with this person. And in this type of bias, it's typically favorable to the other person. K? The next type, which is a little less favorable when it comes to those engagements or it can be, is your perception bias. Italian rooted in stereotypes and assumptions about different groups. Right? Affinity, we're the same benefit of the doubt. Is something that could be considered an unconscious bias. Whereas perception bias is you're different. Do we have our guard up? Do we approach them in a different manner? Right? Does it affect the way we communicate in terms of our terminology? The words that we choose, etcetera. Okay. Next is gonna be the halo effect. This is something where we see somebody. We identify something about them. And we start to project positive qualities without actually knowing them. Right? Overlooking red flags is always the conversation when we get into this and they're full blown training. You know, about, oh, I had, my sister and her boyfriend was horrible, but you know, I tried to tell her that and she wouldn't listen to me. Right? She was ignoring those red flags based off of these halo effects based off of these unconscious bias. And then lastly, there's confirmation bias. Who here loves to be wrong? Right. Very few people really enjoy being wrong on the regular, and confirmation bias is us looking to confirm our own opinions. Our own pre existing ideas, we wanna be proven right. And we can see how these four basic principles will have a direct impact. A direct reshaping, again, could be positive, could be negative on the way we interact with those around us. Now as we set up from the beginning, this is not just in our professional life, right, with our residents, with our prospects, and our customers, with our coworkers, but in our personal lives as well, and that's the other approach I wanted to take with this training. I wanted it to be all inclusive. I wanted us to be able to utilize these tips, these tricks, and explore this conversation in a professional sense and a personal sense so that we truly have a solid impact, understanding, and exploration of what we're talking about. So that is what we're gonna look at when it comes to our unconscious bias. What next we're gonna transition into is gonna be our emotional intelligence. And again, we'll start with a definition. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand the ability to use and the ability to manage our own emotions in a positive way. What will this do? It'll allow us to relieve stress. It'll allow us to communicate effectively. We'll be able to empathize with others. We could overcome challenges and diffuse conflict. Now you're starting to see Right? The ball kind of, in in mid role there, we're starting to build that momentum as to what we're gonna be talking about and why we're talking about it. So similar to our unconscious bias, there are gonna be four areas of emotional intelligence that we're gonna explore. But before we start getting into breaking those down, I want us to look at ourselves. I wanna flip the mirror back in ourselves. K? Because emotional intelligence is related to how people feel and perceive things. These are, perceived and influenced by a number of different factors. What we see? Going back to the example, how the prospect is dressed, the type of car that they drive. Making a decision if they're gonna be approved or not. What we hear, I think other people influence and impact us? Is it positive? Is it negative? Do we go into a conversation totally clean? Or we already have thoughts and things that have been swayed and put into our ear about the person, the people, the situation we're gonna engage in. What do we know? Right. What is our experience been? What have we been through? I've seen this all before. I already know exactly how this conversation is gonna go. And then what we are doing? What is going on in our life? Right? Are we able to Shake that all away, leave it in the backroom, and truly come to the conversation fresh, clean, and engaged. Or is there something in the emotional intelligence realm that is going to affect? It's gonna make our perceptions different. It's gonna influence the way we are. I had a, a great mentor who's one of our senior regionals at NRP who talked about emotional intelligence and she gave this really beautiful visual to kind of represent and and illustrate what we're talking about here. And what we've gotta think about is our lives, right, and what we have going on in them as a a bubble, right, as a circle. There's a finite amount of space. Everybody's bubble is the exact same. It can only hold so much. And this is where we start to tie in what we're doing. This is where we start to tie in what we know. K? It's Monday morning. You've sent out your delinquency notices. You've let your, residents know that they are getting late fees. And if eight AM. It's nine AM. First thing in the morning on Monday, and there is a resident with a notice in your office, and they are losing their cool. They are very very upset because you are charging them. I don't know. Let's fix something. Fifty dollars in late fees. And now come on Monday morning, first thing, you know, you're dealing with coming out of the weekend. You're catching up on emails. You're trying to see what the property looks like. You've got ports do. You've got all of these thing, and the last thing you wanna deal with is fifty dollars. You think, oh my goodness. It's fifty dollars. Just pay it. Don't be late next time. Right? That's maybe how we go into it. That's a negative impact of emotional intelligence. And I'm gonna go back to our circle because the reason you may feel that way is because of what you have going on in your circle. Your circle is full of reports of deadlines, of due dates, of all of these things you have going on. And to you, this resident with a fifty dollar late fee is this big. Right? It's tiny. It barely takes up any space in your bubble. We're doing a disservice to that guest, to that resident because we're not emphasizing with them. K? We have the same size bubble. What if our bubble is completely full to the brim? And that's why we can only have this much space for them. But what if that residence bubble is not nearly as full? They do not have support. They don't have family. They don't have any number of things to fill up that bubble, where this fifty dollar late fee for you is this big. For them. Right? That's empathy. That's understanding somebody else's situation. In going at the conversation in an emotionally intelligent way. K? So as I mentioned, there's gonna be four main emotional intelligence domains and competencies. Got a color graphic on the right discussing self awareness self management, social awareness, and relationship management. I'm gonna top start in the top left with self awareness. We recognize our own emotions. Anybody here get hangry? Yeah. My fiance immediately knows when I start getting hangry and is like, you need to cool your jets. Right? Because my emotions are taking over. It's affecting my thoughts. It's affecting my behavior. It's affecting the way I communicate. I become more, vocally aggressive. I become a little more snappish. Right? That is gonna be able to identify. Hold on, Walter. Right? Have a snickers. Calm down. You knowing your own strengths and weaknesses. K? That's gonna be your self awareness and how it builds into your self confidence. Next is gonna be self management, your ability to control impulsive feelings and impulsive behaviors. Managing those emotions in a healthy ways. Right? Not making, you know, rash decisions. Really stopping to think about what are the ripple effects. Right? What are the consequences that could be in play if I take this action, taking the initiative following through on our commitments and adapting to changing circumstances. Next thing we're gonna have is social awareness. This goes back to that bubble example we used on the previous page. Having empathy understanding emotions, understanding needs and concerns. Picking up on emotional cues Not everyone is gonna walk it now. Some do. I know I've sat at your offices before. Not everybody's gonna walk in and lay it all out there on the table. Right? Sometimes you're gonna have to pick up on queues and clues that come through the conversation. But being able to do that, being able to be comfortable in front of people, right, socially recognizing the power dynamic of your group. Understanding that each of your employees work in a different way. They are motivated differently. They are coached. And supported differently and being able to do that. And then lastly, relationship management, knowing how to develop and maintain good relationships, how to communicate clearly, how to inspire and influence others, right, great leadership quality there, being able to work well on a team, as well as in managing conflict. K. So we started by outlining or laying out rather. The emotional intelligence, we've discussed our unconscious bias. All of this is starting to shake take shape, take form. K? Wanna take you to a quote. Responsibility equals accountability equals ownership. A sense of ownership is the most powerful weapon a team or an organization can have. And that quote came from Pat Summit. Thinking about taking ownership of our faults, of our flaws. I always joke with my fiance in my his his late favorite thing for me to say to him is like, you know, I, I admit my fault and my flaws. That's not enough. Right? We've gotta take ownership, and we've got to change them. We've got to put in the work. Responsibility, equals accountability, equals ownership. So when it comes to our emotional intelligence, when it comes to being supportive and in the moment, we've gotta own those moments where we can, and where we can't be. And we owe it to ourselves. We owe it to our guests to explore our own unconscious bias. To think about how these things that we don't even realize are affecting us are changing. They are shaping the way we engage, the way we communicate the way we approach. Because right there, ownership is the most powerful weapon we can have in ourselves. It's gonna allow us to support, and it's going to allow us to follow through on our next topic. This is where we're really going to get into the, the depth of the presentation and that's managing ourselves. K? So here's what I'm gonna tell you. The reason I chose to title this presentation controlling the controllables is because guess what? I can't control my guest. I can't control my resident. I am not in charge of how they are going to react. I am not in charge of what they are going to do or what they are going to say. And a lot of those Google results that I've saw. Again, I did not go through all one billion of them, but a lot of the information that I found out there was outward pointing. Right? It was no, don't don't escalate things. Don't get loud. Don't lose your tool. You're cool. K? And it's a lot about them, them, them. Which is something we can't control. So why am I gonna burn my time, my energy? Why am I gonna waste your time giving you a top ten list of things that we can't take care of. It's a waste of energy. What we can do is look inward. The reason we started with the mirror slide. We are directly responsible for ourselves. For managing ourselves, for leading ourselves, for controlling ourselves. And there's gonna be three keys that we're gonna explore in this part of the presentation. K? The first one is our ability to take a clear stance. Second one is going to be able to stay genuinely connected to people. And the third is going to be managing our own reactions. Alright. So let's take a look. Taking a clear stance. What does this mean? It means that you know what needs to be done. You have an idea, you have a thought, and you wanna see execution. That is planting your flag, but we have to be able to do it without sugar coating. Without steamrolling. People are uncomfortable, with conflict. Right? And sometimes we just say yes, yes, yes, to to appease and to avoid that conflict. We're not taking a clear stance. The other side of that is steamrolling. We're gonna do it this way. I've been in the industry for ten years. I know what I'm doing, so do it my way. You're disrespecting that human element. You're not utilizing your emotional intelligence. So when we have these conversations, We need to be comfortable, and we need to be confident that we can say, this is my opinion. This is my thought This is my suggestion in a very direct, concise, and respectful way. Avoiding steaming rolling, right, avoiding sugar coating. That takes us to that flag I was talking about. Do you have a flag and do you know where you are planting it? Now, this is not an end all be all. I am drawing a line in the sand If you do not do it that way, it is a done deal. But you have to have an idea of what you want to get out of something. Does that sound familiar? Literally, the objective exercise we started with. I wanted you all to have a flag. I wanted you all to know what you expected what you wanted to get out of this webinar. Because if all we're doing is checking a box and working on emails and doing other things, Why are we here? It's not a good use of your time. So it reframed it. Now you have a flag. Now you know how to connect and relate the material and the discussion back with that clear objective that matters to you that you came up with yourself. And then, lastly, can we effectively articulate and can we communicate directly? When it comes to this, you know, sometimes we are just told this is the expectation. This is what we're going to do. Okay. Great. It's given to us. Right? There's no conversation. There's no discussion. Do it. Get it. Done it. And sometimes it happens that way. Sometimes it's necessary to happen that way. But what I find is if you can effectively articulate articulate your reason explaining the why behind something, you're gonna get a better chance to buy in. If you can tell somebody, give them that professional courtesy of explaining to them the reason this process is changing. The reason that we cannot waive this late fee the reason we need this document to move forward with the application process. And we come at it from a place of just do it. We need it. To we need it because x y z, and we can communicate that directly, and we can be articulate in that delivery. We have a better chance of getting it done. Right? We've taken a clear stance, and we've done so in a respectful way, and we've done so in a supportive way. Now the next key to is going to be staying genuinely connected. Now, this one can sometimes be a little difficult. A little, frustrating because we've gotta stay genuinely connected with somebody we are in conflict with. Somebody that is challenging us. Quick show of hands. Anybody here ever said or done something in the moment that made things worse? Oh, yes. Right? Everybody's guilty of it. We have to stay genuinely connected with them, and this is the hardest part. If it's, I don't like them. I don't I don't wanna deal with that person. I don't like working with that person. So I'm just gonna keep repeating myself and keep saying my points and my spances over and over again. Not gonna get us anywhere. We need to be emotionally attuned to others. We need to think about how our decisions, how our responses are gonna affect them. Right. So often, we're looking right here at what's on our plate, what we have to get taken care of. We sometimes forget that our decisions and our responses have an effect on those around us. So we've gotta be emotionally attuned to others and understand What it is going to do with them? Getting their experience or point of view. You ever ask them the other person that you're in conflict with, the other person that you have labeled difficult, and and you don't want to deal with where it's coming from. Right? Have you asked them and explored? Go back to that visualization. They're bubble. And why they're responding and reacting the way they are? Why they're coming to you in the manner that they are. K. And then lastly, staying open to being influenced by another person. Someone that we are in conflict with How difficult is that? How difficult is it to go into a situation with somebody you are butting heads with that you don't get along with that that really kinda gets you hot and hot and bothered and and and frustrated and still say at the end of it, you're right. I see your point. I understand where you're coming from, and in fact, we're gonna go with your decision. We all admitted earlier we don't like to be proven wrong. But this isn't us proving wrong, saying that we are wrong. Right? Understanding their point of view does not mean I agree with you. So often we feel we can't listen to their side. We can't empathize with the other point of view because it's us admitting that they were right and we were wrong. It's not that kind of conversation. It gives you an in-depth understanding of why they're being the way they are. When we understand that, now we can genuinely connect with them. Now it allows us to be vulnerable to let that guard down and change our approach. K? Oh, my favorite. Managing our own reaction triggers. Who here has triggers? Every single person, I promise you whether we realize it or not, have triggers. Now, what is a trigger? But, typically, it's a reaction in a habitual way that is not so skillful. Right? It's reactionary. We can be triggered by our own thoughts. We can be triggered by external circumstances. We can be triggered by others. I used the example earlier about my fiance. I said I own my faults, my flaws. You know, I don't have to do anything about it. Wrong. Here's the thing about triggers. They're your problem. And that seems a little jarring. It may come off a little cold. But when we understand our triggers, when we start to look at where they come from and why we are triggered, It allows us the opportunity to have that in that self understanding, and we can start to let the pressure off. The triggers stop getting to us. The very first time I did this presentation, I went into an example, in the moment. I had not planned to discuss it, and I just had this aha moment about a trigger of my own, and I'll share it with you all here. A word that triggers me is when somebody calls me annoying. Right? I grew up in Texas and only child, hyperactive, loud, energy level always up here, and I realized that that's where it came from is as a child so often I heard, oh, you're so annoying. You're annoying. And then as an adult, when I hear it, it triggers me. It takes me back to that place. But by understanding what it's rooted in. I can let it go. Right? By understanding what was triggering me and why I felt a certain way, I could allow it to empower me. I found a way to use that high energy in that loud mouth to my advantage, right, and end my profession. And being here with you all started by being annoying, And so if we can explore those triggers and we can deconstruct them in our own lives, now we can respond in skillful ways. Now we can better manage our own reaction, and we're not relying on habits. Okay? Triggers serve a purpose. I'm not saying they are unnecessary. Right? What they are are protective. We have our own reactive patterns and we use them to protect ourselves. K? But once we can identify the reasoning behind us, we can keep better control of ourselves. We don't get in the situation where we say something or we do something that exacerbates a situation that makes things worse that causes a a bigger problem than we originally started with. And here's the finality of it all. We can be genuinely connected. We can stay engaged and genuinely connected. Right? We can do all of the things that we've discussed up until now. We can take a stance. But if we can't manage our own reactions, it's not gonna matter. An inability to manage our own reactivity is going to destroy anything you've worked to build with a coworker when it comes to a professional setting and relationship, right, burning bridges. It often comes from reactionary moment. And so without managing those reactions, we will not be able to take our stance or stay connected. So what I wanna do now is put some of these principles into play and do a little exercise. And no, I I don't mean doing planks like you see there on the screen. But I want everyone to take a moment and kind of if you're sitting in your sitting in your chair, kind of get a little bit better posture, kind of sit upright, Take a moment. Take a deep breath, and I want everyone to close your eyes. Now if you are attending this webinar virtual or virtually, if you're attending this webinar on the road while you're traveling and you're driving, please do not close your eyes. Don't do that. But what I want you to do is take a moment to think back to a time when you were in conflict. K? Again, this could be professionally. This could be a difficult resident. This could be personally. This could be with a family member. This could be with your child's teacher, right, any sort of time that you were really frustrated, upset in dealing with someone difficult. So close your eyes, and I want you to really relive it. Think about that moment. Where was it? What did the setting look like? Who all was there? What was the root of the conflict? I want you to relive it. And what you should find in that moment, if you really give into the exercise, is you're gonna feel a tenseness in your body. You may feel warm and flush. You may grind your teeth or clench your jaw. You may find your body feeling a certain way. Now in that moment, when you are feeling like that, Can you effectively communicate? Can you stay connected to that person across from you? Are you going to be able to plant your stance to plant that flag in a way that is understood and empathetic. Probably not. K. Now what I want everyone to do now is is because we're kind of in that heightened sense and we're feeling a little discomfort. Maybe we're feeling a certain kind of way. Is with your eyes closed. I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it for three seconds. Blow it out to your mouth. Do the same thing. Deep breathe in through your nose. Hold it for three seconds. Load it out to your mouth. Once again, hold it for three. Slow it out. Open your eyes. Do you feel a difference in your body now? Is there a calmness? Is there a focus? Do you feel better centered? Do you feel like you're in a better place to make decisions? That's what we wanna do. When we're in conflict now I'm not saying when your resident's there yelling at you close, hold on. I need a moment. Close your eyes and start meditative breathing. That's not what I'm saying at all, but we want to remember the different ways those feel. Because if I feel myself getting hot, If I feel myself starting to tiptoe around that reaction, I start to feel myself triggered. I know what that feels like in my body. And I can realize and recognize this isn't the best way to respond. This is not going to be productive if I continue staying in this space. Breathe in deep through your nose. Hold it for three seconds. Breathe it out. It allows you to recenter. It puts you in a place to control and manage your activity. It puts you in a place to genuinely connect and stay connected with that person, even though it's a difficult situation. It puts you in a place where you can more effectively plant your flag communicate your needs, explain the reason behind it, and hopefully come to a mutually beneficial end. K. Alright. So we started today off with me asking you to tell me about me. I'm not gonna leave you hanging. Alright? So I asked you my middle name. I asked you my favorite food. And I asked you what kind of car I drove. Alright. One, my middle name is Eugene. Two, my favorite food is Mexican food. And three, I drive a Honda CRV. Know this entire training you were thinking, well, when are we gonna find out the answer to these questions? So there you are. And the last thing I wanna leave you with is gonna be a quote from Bill Gates because as I've said a couple of times through this presentation, that human element. Right? We're gonna make mistakes, and that's okay. Right? We're still going to be reactive even though we realize that it's coming on, and I'm trying to control it. And you know what? It's gonna get the best of you. It happens. It doesn't matter how well practiced you are at this. It's gonna find a way. That's okay. Okay? Learn from those mistakes. Continue to make progress And remember, as Bill Gates said here, your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. Thank you all. Thank you so much, Walter for leading us through that important content in such a fun and engaging way. And I was thinking that you could not be more correct that we all have the thirst need and desire for that content. Thank you. Thank you. Before we dive into our Q and A, today. I wanna jump in quickly to let our audience know that if your team is struggling with any of the topics discussed today, our team here at Grace Hill can help. With our industry leading policy survey, training, and assessment solutions, you can proactively set the standard for your team. While giving them the professional development that they create. Our experts are available for a personalized demo and consultation after the webinar to discuss your team's developmental goals. You can reach out to us by visiting our website at grace hill dot com. And you can click on request demo to complete a form and our team will connect with you right away. Now at this time, I would like open it up to all of our attendees to ask questions. You can use the chat box on your screen, and Walter will answer as many questions as time will allow So, Walter, as those questions come in, I will go ahead and let you read them and answer them. Perfect. Perfect. Sounds good. And if I don't mind, if our, assistance there with Graceill webinars, if you don't mind sending those over to me as those questions come through, at my chat box switch on me, about two thirds of the way through, so I apologize for that. Are there any questions out there on any of the subjects, the topics that were discussed. Not seeing anything come through on my end. I'm not sure what what's switched. Ashley, Stephanie, by chance, do either of you ladies? Are you able to see any any questions coming through? Let me look here. Thank you. Just don't wanna leave anybody hanging. I do see one here, Walter. Somebody asked how they can identify when they feel a trigger coming on. What does that feel like? Oh, so it's different in everybody. I will say it is definitely going to be physical in nature. You feel you get a little warm. Right? Your your mind goes to a certain place. Your get flushed. It's it's different with every person. But when you really start to to think about it, or look back where Right? When have you reacted? When have you behaved in a in a reactionary way? And why did you take that route? Right? And that'll help you kind of deconstruct and identify those triggers. Again, it's that human element, that human science. So it's different from person to person. But I definitely know when it's a trigger for me. I get a little warmth in my body. I heat up a little bit. And then if it's hangry, it's it's usually in my tummy. So I can relate to being hangry there, Walter. Great question. Thank you. You're welcome. I see another one. It says, do you recommend any books on this topic that you can share with our attendees? I I do. There is actually a, book written by doctor Kathy Grover, that says, say what? How to or say anything? How to effectively communicate. Again, doctor Kathy Grover. She's out of Santa Barbara, California. I was able to attend a couple of her presentations, and she's phenomenal. The book talks about staying engaged. The book talks about communicative patterns. And they're quick, short, digestible little vignettes. It's a super easy read. I was able to get my copy on Amazon. So I've definitely turned you in that because it talks about staying connected, communicating it away, and and going through all those exercises that we discussed today. Thank you, Walter. And I'll give the audience about twenty more seconds here. Type in a question. If you have one, don't be shy. Alright. I think they're gonna let you off easy here, Walter. Thanks everybody. I appreciate it. You're welcome. Well, thank you everyone for attending today's webinar and a special thank you to our guest Walter Sonder. Thank you so much for all of your wise words and for your time today. It is my pleasure. Everybody have a great day. Make it the best day ever, and Stay safe out there. Thank you all.